The do it yourself Exorcism kit. July 30, 2007

This story is bizarre and scary and hard to believe it’s true.  What could a three year old do that would drive her mother and grandfather to torture her and think she was possessed by the devil.  On top of that, what made the grandfather think he could perform an Exorcism?  Is there a take home DIY Exorcism kit that you can buy on EBay?  Maybe if you watch the movie several times you become an expert.  If you really believe there is a demon to be driven out, what makes you think you would be qualified to defeat the devil at his own game?  Why is the mother naked in the room, does that help in some way?  How do you know when or if you have driven out the demon?  Thank God the relative finally called the police even if it was a little late.

Spirograph epitaph July 27, 2007

Remember the old Spirograph games?  I tried to find one at the toy store but maybe they don’t make them anymore.  The toys my kids have been getting mostly require batteries and many break the same day.  I miss old Spirograph.

Dog fighting bastards. July 26, 2007

Dog fighters are cruel thoughtless self centered classless and ignorant backward brainless and heartless throw backs to less enlightened times.  No, tell me what you really think.

Hillary’s vigorously silent diplomatic agenda. July 25, 2007

Until the YouTube debate and the answers above I did not have much of an opinion on which one of these two candidates was better.  I now would not vote for Hillary and Obama is looking much better to me.  Clinton’s answer is symbolic of many things I hate about Washington politics.  One major problem is the inertia and inability to get things done because politicians are driven by polls and business as usual.  They know sounding tough plays really well in Peoria and sticking your neck out and taking risks is bad political strategy.  Do we want politicians who are really good at playing it safe and managing their political careers, or do we want politicians who have our interests in mind.  When it comes to the leaders of foreign nations should we portray and treat them like enemies and avoid them because Carl rove and company says that will get you elected?  What we should have is regular construction dialogue and foreign leaders should be portrayed as partners, and with respect.  They are after all in power, like them or not.  If the President of the United States can’t engage in open dialogue with other heads of state without being used abused than they should leave the job to someone with the verbal and debate skills to advance our policy objectives and counter statements made about U.S. foreign policy.  The best way to handle a loud mouth bully is not to refuse to talk to them and let their words go unanswered.   You stand up to them and expose their words as false or counter productive.   We have and have always had presidents who talk to us about THEM, but I want a President who will talk to them, for us.   Hillary said she wants a “vigorous diplomatic effort” that would include no direct talking?  I guess that’s what you call talking out of both sides of your mouth.  Isn’t it funny how politicians who have worked in Washington for forty years like to advertise themselves as something new and a force for change.  Obama may actually be someone who is willing to step out of the mold and try some new approaches to very old problems.   Nothing can raise an issue up in importance like a visit from the President of the United States.  The Presidential pulpit is the most important and squandered power our Presidents have.   Let’s elect somebody who knows that.

Reading headlines now causes high blood pressure. July 24, 2007

Take a moment to read the handful of headlines above and tell me you don’t immediately feel a little alarmed, confused and discombobulated.  I am going to write some of my own headlines to calm us all down. 

New study says people are healthier and living longer than ever. 

Threat of dying in terrorist attack calculated at one in forty seven million. 

Chocolate, alcohol and sex in moderation are great for your health. 

Many former militants are now turning their back on Alkieda and violence and the Jihad movement will eventually crumble of its short comings like communism did. 

Most people are actually better looking and better off than they think they are. 

No matter how bad adults screw things up, every child born will always be a new chance to get things right. 

The sum of human knowledge will continue to grow and incredible unimaginable achievements will take place. 

You can take a pill for impotence, flatulence, and hyper kids and soon there will be pills for baldness, excess weight, and ageing. 

Time to bend over Mr. President. July 23, 2007

When exactly did it become necessary for me to know about George Bush’s Colon?  And when did it become necessary to put up a picture of a hand putting on a latex glove to remind me where the colon is located.  Spare me pictures of Presidential polyps because I am putting myself on a need to know basis and I really don’t need to know.  Now if someone were to have the Presidents head examined I might be interested in those results.  I can guess what the President and his people are thinking about now and for the next couple of months.  In September General Petraeus is going to give a progress report on Iraq.  At this point the White House knows the progress report is not going to be good enough to continue with an open ended war and current troop levels.  So between now and September expect to see the administration begin to shift blame and responsibility to the Iraq government, its people, and neighboring governments etc.  In September the real talk and work of drawing down the U.S. military will begin and I would bet my polyps on that.

It’s all about MeMe. July 20, 2007

I am responding to a meme about what web sites I frequent.  My most frequented web sites are news related.  I go to Yahoo, Google, MSN, and Fox and scan the headlines for something that piques my interest.   Often I will mention to my wife something about a story I read on line and she knows about it because she did the same thing.  It has occurred to me that a great many people are reading these mass market news websites and hence sharing the same reality in a way.  These websites have tremendous power to influence what information we have and what to think about it.  That can be good and it can be bad.  There was a story recently about a Chinese food vendor that was collecting cardboard and paper on the street and boiling it in a pot to make a pulp that made up a big part of some food sold on the street.  I was shocked at the story and I remember thinking at the time that if I ever make it to China I would not eat from street vendors.  That story probably would have influenced my future actions if I had not heard a couple of days later that the story was a fabrication.   I wish journalism was presented less as a matter of fact and with more opposing few points so the reader could make up their own mind.     A different kind of site I love is the tastespotting site found in my blogroll and other food related sites.  Neither I nor my wife cooks much at all.  I buy recipe books and never use them or maybe try one recipe out of them.  I wonder if there are a lot of people like me and what should we call our selves?  Foody wanabe’s maybe.  I can’t tell you how many times I have read a recipe and looked at the delicious pictures and thought, wow that looks good, I need to make it, but I don’t.  I am hoping when the kids get older and their pallets become more adventurous I will have more motivation and reason to do some cooking.     I Google things a lot and there is another huge source of manipulation and influence on the internet.  Sometimes you don’t realize that the only reason you just clicked on something that pulled up on your search is because someone paid to have it show up on the search.  People are hard at work to scam the search results we all see.  As far as memes I am not that good at them but if you don’t mind please send me 5 bucks and then ask 5 other people to also send me 5 bucks and pass it on.

Bible action figures kick ass. July 18, 2007

I don’t have to make up jokes all I have to do is look at the days news and the jokes are all right there.  Would you like to buy a talking Jesus action figure for your kids?  Wal-Mart is going to start selling them in their stores.  I can just see my son walk around and say stuff like, “Eat your vegetables or you are going to hell” I never know what is going to come out of his mouth next.  Here’s a business idea, a talking prophet Muhammad action figure to go with the Jesus doll.  Then they can fight each other with their buff bods and giant fists and hurl religious quotes at each other.  It would sell like hot cakes in the Middle East.  The figure above is Sampson, before his hair cut I would guess.  Don’t you have to have bad guy dolls for the good guy dolls to fight?  Did I hear someone say, Saaaaaaataaaannnn

Iran starts video game arms race! July 17, 2007

Well the Iranians have done it again.  Now they have started an international video games arms race with the United States and Israel.  The creation of a video game where Iranian nuclear scientists on the way to a religious observance are captured by the evil Americans and taken to Mordor (Israel) and held captive is the first salvo in this digital war.  What we need now is to answer this provocation with a video game of our own.  How about this, we team up President Bush No. 2, Rambo, Steven Segal, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, the Govenator, the Pope, Jerry Seinfeld (He’s Jewish isn’t he?) and all the news anchors on CNN and have them sneak into Tehran and plant a million American flags all over the city in the dead of night.  When the Iranians wake up and go nuts and set all the flags on fire they wind up burning down the city.  We win.

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iranian police women

Composite werewolf on the loose. July 16, 2007

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Check out this composite sketch put out on a rapist.  If this was me and I saw what they said I looked like, I would be so mad I would have to call the police and complain.  Maybe I would forget that the police have caller ID and I would call from my mom’s house.  This is cruel and unusual artist sketching for sure.  On a side note, if I was a woman driving a bus I would be asking why the heck don’t they have a camera on each bus to provide some deterrent to this kind of crime?   Point the camera right at the door and post some signs informing wood be rapists they are on camera

Sharing the Budgie. July 13, 2007

My last post about men’s swimsuits engendered a comment from Justinsane on wearing a Budgie Smuggler.  This is what I love about blog’s and the internet because you get to learn a lot from the interaction with people all over the world.  I had never heard of a Budgie Smuggler and had to look it up.  Twenty seconds later I was watching the YouTube clip below.  I now know it’s an Aussie expression for underwear that is posing as a swimsuit.  Now, I can go to the beach with my wife, and I could wear some Budgie Smugglers’ to the beach, I just won’t be allowed to do both things at the same time.  The blokes and mates up yonder here have this thing called homophobia.  We know who is gay by what swimsuit they wear, among other things.  As far as posting a pic of me in a swimsuit, I am going to reward my self and punish everyone else when I drop to 199 pounds or less and do it, maybe.MTV - Budgie Smuggler

They are all a bunch of Knickers! July 12, 2007

This is how boys were dressed up in knickers and long socks way before my time.  Now I ask you, at some point does not a long pair of shorts really become a short pair of pants?  The idea for this post came up when my 20 something nephew gave me some grief over the length of my swim suit.  My suit was in no way a Speedo and came down to about 5 inches above my knee.  The current fashion now has people alarmed to see a man wearing shorts and showing his knees I guess.  I am 6 feet tall but I don’t like the way these long shorts filling up the store racks make you look shorter and I think just plain stupid.  Could the young hipsters please get tired of these short pants so the fashion police will get off my back already?

Running with the Cats July 11, 2007

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Hey now wait one gash darn minute Missy.  If you horn in on running with the bulls what next?  Maybe next you will want to run into freezing lake water in January or ride a motorcycle 80 miles an hour while standing on the seat or jumping off the roof onto the trampoline into the pool or eat an entire large Pizza and 6 beers and proudly belch the Star spangled Banner.  And what about spitting on the sidewalk or pissing outside when a perfectly good restroom is near by.  What about punching another guy in the shoulder until somebody says uncle or sleeping on sheets for ever without once having the thought of washing them pop into your brain.  What about the ability to wear a muscle shirt 2 sizes too small over your beer belly and still think your sexy.  These are things that make us men and we need at least one of the sexes to retain some measure of common sense, civility and good manners.  Now if someone wants to have a women only event of running with the cats, in high heels and bikini’s, (the women not the cats), well that make perfect sense to me.

STFU Ann Coulter. July 10, 2007

I was reading that the head of China’s food and drug administration was executed for corruption when the image of Ann Coulter popped into my brain.  I imagined her on Fox or CNN saying how she wished some of OUR politicians would be executed for poor performance, snort, smirk, head toss.  I guess I have seen so much of her wise cracking over the top political commentary that my brain automatically cast her as commenting on the China story in her typical hurtful insensitive yet headline grabbing fashion.  Personal attacks and extreme comments seems to be paying off for Rosie O’Donnell also.  If it really is all about getting as many eyeballs on you as possible, then be prepared for lots of trash talk and bad behavior by all the want a be famous.  The expression that no publicity is bad publicity has never been so true.  But when the person doing the talking becomes more of the story than what they are talking about, it’s time to turn the channel.  Since news in the U.S. has become just another part of the entertainment department and required to chase ratings, the level of political discourse has become embarrassingly idiotic.  People who really want to hear serious thoughtful dialogue are going to be driven to the Internet to get it.  Hey, I’m already there!

Save the Marines for kick ass, not wipe ass. July 6, 2007

 

The U.S. military has shown that they can rip through opposing militaries with devastating results.  Fighting large armies like Saddam Hussein’s in Iraq, which was rated as the 4th largest in the world at the time, is what the U.S. military is trained and equipped to do.  What our military is not good at, as has been demonstrated in Vietnam and Iraq, is to be an occupying force in a country where most the population does not want us there.  Do you think the American forces could have held onto Japan or Germany if a large percentage of their populations did not want us there, or want the kind of governments we were trying to create for them?  No way.  Our Government should not use our military in knee jerk preemptive wars of questionable value to the United States just because some other country is screwed up.  The rules of engagement are very different when you are fighting an army in uniform that is distinct from the civilian population and fighting with planes and tanks etc than it is when you are fighting a taxi driver who all of a sudden blows himself up on a public street.  You can’t go after the enemy because you don’t know who or where they are.  Your smart bombs and other high tech weapons which have become the back bone of your military are now of little use in this kind of conflict.  Even the Shiite population who were murdered and marginalized on a huge scale by Saddam were unable to peacefully except the presence of the very same U.S. military that liberated them.  The reaction to the presence of western troops, especially U.S. troops in the Middle East is so gut wretchedly antagonistic that an occupying force is able to do little more than chase fleeting targets around and stir up the pot.  The so called students with the machine guns in Pakistan is just another sign that this is actually an internal conflict for power within the Muslim states that the rest of the world has been caught up in.  This is actually their problem and we should not allow ourselves to be pulled into it any further.  They can’t settle their internal debate while we are making all the noise and getting all the attention.  We must pull our troops out of the Middle East and at the same time put constant diplomatic and economic pressure on the governments and people of majority Muslim states to solve their political issues with words, not bombs.  Religion or war, call it what you want, it is all about different opinions of how governments and the people living under them should behave and that’s internal politics.  Weather Pakistan should establish Sharia Law should be settled by political debate not the rule of violence.  That is the drum beat that we all should be focused on now.  The militants use religious justification for their attacks when the political debate does not go their way and that is wrong.  We cannot make that point effectively while our troops are fighting in Iraq.  The incredible amounts of money we are spending in Iraq would be better spent on homeland security when it comes to our security.  Bring them home and change the debate back onto what and where it belongs.